


I’m Yours, But You’re Not Mine

by elixir_kk



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Tattoos, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jihope If You Squint, Jinyoung is the only logical one, Light Angst, M/M, namjin if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6611233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elixir_kk/pseuds/elixir_kk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where your soulmates name appears somewhere on your body during the ages of 18-21, Jackson wakes up the day after his 20th birthday to see the words Mark Tuan tattooed on his wrist. If the situation were different, Jackson would have been thrilled. But Jackson couldn’t find himself to feel any of that, knowing well that his name is not anywhere on Mark’s body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mark Fucking Tuan

**Author's Note:**

> A friend of mine convinced me to write a story for her, so I thought I would post it here as well. WARNING – I am not a writer whatsoever and this is my first time. I still can’t believe she convinced me to write this. And I can’t believe I’m putting this story out there. So apologies in advance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he was still hungover from yesterday. He faintly remembered bits and pieces of his friends slipping him more drinks then necessary all night long.
> 
> But no, there in small cursive writing on his wrist, the name Mark Tuan was neatly embedded into his skin.

**Shit.**

 

This is not good.

 

This is not good at all.

 

This cannot be happening.

 

Jackson looked down at his hand, hoping for the little piece of writing on his wrist to vanish.

 

Hoping it was just his eyes playing tricks on him.

 

Hoping it was all an illusion.

 

A dream. A very bad dream.

 

Maybe he was still hungover from yesterday. He faintly remembered bits and pieces of his friends slipping him more drinks then necessary all night long.

But no, there in small cursive writing on his wrist, the name _Mark Tuan_ was neatly embedded into his skin. 

* * *

Jackson inspected his tattoo, trying to detect any trace of human errors. Obviously he couldn’t detect any. This wasn’t a tattoo that he drunkenly decided to get last night. Jackson wishes that was the case though.

No. The universe had decided that Mark _fucking_ Tuan would be his soulmate. There was no denying it. Jackson had seen countless soulmate tattoos before. It was sort of like an instinct recognizing them. There could be a dozen identical names tattooed on someone’s arm, but the soulmate tattoo would just somehow manage to standout. It's kind of hard to explain. Just take his words for it. 

His hangover from last night was slowly starting to ease up on him, but there was still a slight buzz in his head that he knew had more to do with the nice surprise he woke up to this morning and not because of last night. 

Jackson jumped when he heard his phone vibrate, too immersed in his own thoughts to notice it had been buzzing for the past couple of minutes. He picked up his phone, his heart picking up speed when he focused on the name on the screen.

 

 

Jackson smiled to himself. Touched at even a simple text from the other asking if he were okay. Mark could pretend all he want and act like Jackson’s presence was the most annoying thing in the world. His loud and open personality contrasted greatly with Mark who was much more quiet and reserved. But if the daily text messages Mark sent Jackson asking the younger how he is, if he ate, and if he were on top of his assignments didn’t reflect a caring personality, or at least someone who gave a shit about him, then he didn’t know what did.

He remembers how Mark had even once shown up to his dorm at two am - yes two!- on a school night once, when Jackson had made the mistake of telling Mark he hadn’t eaten since lunch and that he’d just entered his dorm. Not 20 minutes later when Jackson was so close to crashing into his bed and sleeping into next eternity, Mark showed up on his steps. He looked tired, what with his brunette hair tousled back and wearing a sweater so big it was swallowing him. Did he mention how he also had a pizza box in his hands?

“Mark, what are you doing here? It's- Jesus 2 am- I was this close to just diving in to my bed and not resurfacing for a while.” Jackson said, side stepping to let the elder in.

“I came because as healthy you claim to be, parading around to everyone with your organic only mantra, you still cant seem to take care of yourself. Be happy I actually took it as my duty to feed your ungrateful ass..” Mark said, with just the hint of annoyance.

Jackson bit his lips, trying to stop himself from smiling. Mark worried too much. It was sweet. Really. Being fretted over this much. “If it was such an inconvenience, then don’t bother next time. You don’t have to babysit me.” Jackson thought the sarcasm in his voice was evident enough, so he didn’t expect the flash of hurt to flick across Mark’s eyes, before the elder composed himself.

Mark narrowed his eyes, looking at a point behind Jackson. “Right, I’m not. Maybe I won’t bother next time.” He dropped the pizza on the table. “You’re probably tired, I didn’t mean to lecture you this late.” Mark made his way towards the door, without (so much as) a backward glance. “Next time, just eat on time, or text me and I’ll drop off something at practice… I just worry and-“. Mark’s words got cut off has he felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind.

Guilt pooled into Jackson’s gut as he realized mid-Mark’s little speech that the elder was truly just worried and that teasing with him at that moment had sent the wrong message. As soon as he saw the elder reaching for the door, he let his body act on instinct, reaching out to keep him from leaving.

Heat spread through Jackson’s body as he pressed his chest flush against Mark’s back. God, he was like a human furnace. The elder smelled like soap, nothing fancy, just plain soap. It was quite relaxing. Jackson could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. He would have, had he not realized the elder had frozen when Jackson touched him and hadn’t moved since. Slowly Jackson released his arms from around Mark. 

Mark missed the touch immediately. He felt arms spin him around and he looked down at Jackson, the fatigue intensified on his face even more than before, guilt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I was only trying to get you smile a little…” Jackson trailed off with a small smile.

“You’re still an ungrateful ass.” Mark added.

"Or you could learn how to take a joke..." Jackson mumbled in reply. 

"I'm leaving." Mark said, feigning annoyance and slowly stepping back. 

“No Mark wait! I really am sorry.” Jackson reached out to keep him in place again. “I really appreciate you caring for me. I mean, how many people can say they have people in their life that will bring them pizza at 2 in the morning?” He tried joking. “Please stop looking so hurt, that really wasn’t my attention.”

And without warning, Jackson wrapped his arms around the other again. He pressed his cheeks into Mark’s neck, arms going around his torso.“I won’t let you go until you forgive me.”

Mark’s brain and body were in two different places at this point. His mind easing at the sincerity in Jackson’s voice, and now trying to make sense of how close he was to the blonde. He kind of felt like a teddy bear, with the way he was being hugged.

He hated the way his body seemed to involuntary relax into Jackson’s embrace. He hoped to god the younger couldn’t feel the way his heart was beating against his chest. All they were doing was hugging for _fucks sake_. Why is he reacting like this? Friends hug right? It’s just been a while since Mark has hugged someone.  

 

 _Yes_ , Mark thought. That’s it. He hesitantly brought his arms up, and place them around Jackson, returning the hug. 

Mark is going to pretend the way Jackson seemed to hug him tighter didn’t send butterflies to his stomach.

* * *

 

[ ](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ephemeral-anonymouswriter#)

 

Mark can honestly be worse than Jinyoung, certified mom of their little gang. But Jackson would be lying if he says its a bother being worried over this much. 

But now, things are different. Before, something as little as Mark fretting over Jackson would just boost his appreciation for the elder and… ok maybe make him feel really really good because maybe… he had the slightest crush on him. Just the slightest.

 

 _But that was a year ago,_ his brain reminded him. 

 

Oh ya.

 

Ok so maybe he was at the crush stage a year ago. And now, maybe, that crush is a genuine attraction and liking towards the elder.

 

_Then why does the tattoo on your wrist excite you so much?_

 

Scratch the maybe. Jackson likes Mark. Period. There. Happy?

 

And maybe, if things were different, Jackson would’ve told Mark. Jackson was the most open person out there. Maybe too open. Mark once told him that by doing that, by being so open, he lets himself be vulnerable. That he needs to keep his guard up. 

“Believe me Mark, the sooner people realize the type of person I am, the better. Better then slowly revealing yourself to a person just to have them not accept you. And then there are people who can’t even be real with you and try to stick around and pretend to like you.” Jackson said, continuing his typing for his English paper on his laptop. 

Mark didn’t reply. The silence that followed didn’t concern him. Mark wasn’t very talkative, Jackson being able to talk for both of them whenever they hung out. When he finally looked up though, he found Mark watching him with curious eyes.

“Mark, its best if you tell me now if I’m too much to handle. Its ok, I would understand.” Jackson tried humor but Mark replied as if he hadn’t said anything.

“So people who don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves and don’t overshare every piece of information about themselves are… fake? Just pretending?” Mark said, his brows furrowed. “Is that how you think of me?” he added, hesitantly.

“No no, of course not. It’s pretty easy to tell who is just pretending to be friends with me and who is not. And you’re not one of those people. You’re probably second to me when it comes to not giving a shit. You wouldn’t have stuck around if you didn’t care.” Jackson said grinning.

“Is that suppose to be a compliment?” Mark muttered.

Jackson chuckled. “Yes it is, and really. I just see it as me being honest about what I think about you. Their all good things though. Other people don’t know what they’re missing out on.” Jackson said and trailed his eyes on Mark's cheeks that were now turning into a bright shade of red.

 Mark groaned, looking down to hide the smile threatening to overcome his face. This kid, seriously. “You’re so gross, don’t get all sappy on me.”

“I mean it though. I know you’re a very reserved person. I respect that. I used to fear that it was because you didn’t trust me but-“

“I do trust you.” Mark cut in. “I do now. I just had to get to know you-“

“I know I know. It takes a while for you to put your trust into people. And there is nothing wrong with being guarded.”

Mark had that look of awe back in his eyes. “Since when did you get so mature? Where is the immature Jackson I know and love?” Mark froze as soon as he realized what he let slip out of his mouth.

 

What the _fuck_ Mark. Where's your damn brain to mouth filter?!  _And you were just lecturing Jackson about being gross!_

 

But Jackson either didn’t hear his slip up or was feigning ignorance because he continued the conversation as if Mark didn’t say anything. “Haha, Jinyoung might’ve had something to do with that. I’m also not the same person you met in first year.”

“Right, you’re not.” 

* * *

Something happened during that conversation, because later that night, Mark started talking about himself. A lot. He actually kind of dropped a bomb on Jackson. Ok not a literal bomb, but it might as well been. At first Mark went back to being quite but it was evident by his face that he mulling over something. Jackson didn’t try prying. He knew if Mark wanted to say something he would.

Jackson’s mind kind of short circuited when he looked up to see Mark taking off his shirt, showcasing his black tank underneath. Damn, the rest of Mark was as pale as his hands and face as well. And was he _deliberately_ trying take his shirt off so slowly?

Mark held out his hand for Jackson and it took a minute for Jackson to find what he was searching for. His eyes zeroed in on the little piece of writing on Mark’s forearm. Oh. It was his soulmate tattoo. Jackson vaguely remember that Mark had turned 21 a while back, the last age to have your soulmate tattoo appear on your body. But since Mark hadn’t mentioned anything about it, Jackson didn’t ask about it. He tried to make out the words written on Mark's arms, but the tattoo was kind of broken. There were cracks in the font and the color was faded as well.

 

Jackson gave out a silent gasp.

He was at a loss for words. He knew what this meant. Mark’s soulmate wasn’t alive. Maybe he was a long time ago. Or maybe he died before birth. But his soulmate wasn’t alive anymore.

“It was like this the day I turned 18. I thought I was amongst the lucky ones who got there tattoos early. Only to realize that maybe never getting my tattoo would’ve been better.” Mark said, voice small. Jackson observed Mark. He looked… composed? Like he’d come to terms with his faith a while ago.

As if reading Jackson’s mind, he continued “It took a very long time for me to… come to terms with…all this.” Mark said, tracing over the tattoo on his forearm. “When I first met you, I was still very... upset. At that point I was upset. It was better than being angry all the time. That’s how I first dealt with it. I was lonely and it didn’t help that I basically cut off a lot of people in my life because I didn’t see the point of getting to know anyone. When the most important person in your life doesn’t exist, and knowing they do for other people, I just- I guess I became jealous? And I didn’t understand why I had to have this happening to me…”

Jackson hadn’t seen Mark like this before. Forget him revealing his soulmate to him, Mark was pouring out his feelings out. There is a first time for everything. Including this situation and Jackson was still, at a loss at what to do or to say, never been at the receiving end of hearing the other's problems.

“I never pondered over this whole soulmate tattoo thing. I thought, when the time came and I got my tattoo, I would deal with it then, you know?” Mark said looking up. Jackson nodded, silently encouraging Mark to continue.

Mark let out a humorless chuckle. “Well now I do have to deal with it. Or at least I did three years ago and… well that went fucking fantastic. I wonder if maybe I should’ve been more excited about the idea of having a soulmate. And it’s so stupid. Crying over someone you don’t even know, who you haven’t had the chance to meet. Will probably never- actually, fuck no- you will for sure never have the chance to meet. So why, why did I make it such a big deal? Moments of my life from the past three years, all spent depressed and shit, for this fucker who was supposed to be my soulmate but isn’t alive…”

 

Mark shut his eyes. _Fuck_. Talking about your feelings is hard. How the fuck does Jackson do this? Or anybody else really.

 

Despair. Isolated. Cold. Lonely. All the feelings that came with coming to face with his misfortunate were slowly rushing back to him.

 

He felt a slight buzz in his head and a little nauseous.  How does one come out to his friends about the fact that their soulmate doesn’t exist? How do you tell someone all this without sounding pathetic and lonely? Why did he decide to open his mouth anyways?

He breathed in and out. He felt a sting in his eyes and blinked rapidly. Oh great, here come the waterfalls.

Mark heard Jackson shuffling around, and next thing he knew he was being pulled into a pair of arms. Just like last time. He felt a sense of déjà vu and froze. But after a second of hesitation, melted into the embrace. He fisted is hands and rested them on Jackson’s chest. He hid his face in his neck, not being able to look up at him and concentrating on his leveling out his breathing. 

“Mark, don’t force yourself to talk. Thank you for telling me this much.”

Mark sighed, pressing his face harder into the boy’s neck, concentrating on his surroundings. Jackson’s hands around him, rubbing slowly at his back. The smell of Jackson. Jackson’s breath on his neck.

 

Despair. Isolated. Cold. Lonely. That is what the broken tattoo on his wrist made him feel. Used to make him feel.  

 

Hope. Warm. Loved. That is how Jackson was currently making him feel. Just by listening to Mark. Just by not demanding him to continue. Just by being Jackson.

 

How did he end up meeting someone like Jackson? So…uncomplicated. Understanding. Mark couldn’t think of a time when the younger might’ve made Mark feel like he wasn’t giving back enough. Jackson was never demanding and respected Mark’s space. Honestly, Mark wondered if he even had the right to call Jackson an ungrateful brat.

He didn’t talk anymore after that. Even if he tried to he couldn’t. All his words came out muffled. But Jackson didn’t seem to mind. Of course he didn’t.

Jackson also didn’t say anything about the soulmate matter. No apologies, no consultation, no look of pity. Exactly what Mark needed. Not that he thought Jackson wouldn’t have been sincere in his regards, Mark just didn’t want to prolong this topic. And no amount of sympathy could ever allow Jackson to understand what he went through. Unless he went through with it himself.

Mark hoped he would never see Jackson go through such a thing. Someone like him deserved all the happiness in the world, and someone who could give him that happiness...

Jackson really was at a loss for words. He knew things like this happened. Although it was rare, some people just had to get by life without ever meeting there soulmate. He never gave it much thought about him having to face such problem. Mark probably didn’t either.

Jackson had never hated the universe as much as he did in that moment. Seeing Mark like this for the first time. Despair was the only word he could come up with to describe the elders tone and face. He could never understand what Mark went through. And Jackson doesn’t think Mark wanted him to empathize for him either. Jackson doesn’t know why Mark was telling him now about all this. But he was touched at the amount of trust the elder put in him to open up about this.

He hated it. The look on Mark’s face. As he talked, delving deeper and deeper into his past, fumbling with his words and jumping from one thought to the other. Jackson could see Mark’s resolve slipping the more he talked. 

Again, Jackson had never hated the universe as much as he did in that moment. Mark didn’t deserve this. He deserved to be happy. 24/7. The tattoo on his forearm should bring him joy, not remind him that his other half didn’t exist. Mark’s 18th birthday should’ve been the best birthday of his life. Not the birthday he wished hadn’t come.

Mark looked like was close to breaking down, if not for the fact that he was breathing quite heavily and his eyes were a little glossy as well. So it was instinct. Getting up and hugging Mark, just like last time when Jackson felt like he was losing him. Instead this time, Mark seemed to be diving into a pool of repressed memories and emotions that would soon consume him. Jackson wouldn’t allow Mark to be unhappy. Wouldn’t allow Mark to feel alone. Wouldn’t allow that look to come back to his face.  

 

Jackson smiled softly when he felt Mark return his hug.

He would never allow him to feel alone again. 

Never. 

* * *

For the first time since getting his tattoo, Mark wished that it was someone else’s name on his arm. Before, it was always a longing to have his soulmate be alive. But that night, Mark wondered how things would be like if Jackson’s name was on his forearm instead of the faded mess currently on it. He’s surprised the thought didn’t weird him out. Just sent a swarm of butterflies running in his stomach. You couldn’t really be a homophobe in this world. Not when the universe, God, Goddesses, aliens, whoever is running this whole soulmate tattoo business, could easily decide your soulmate is someone of the same sex. Mark really could've cared less if his soulmate ended up being a guy or girl. 

From that day, that day Mark opened up, talked about his soulmate tattoo, felt like he was at edge of losing himself again, and Jackson hugged him and Mark hugged him back, Mark noticed every little thing Jackson did. From the way he laughed, loud and high pitched. Kind of like a hyena. The way he talked, overusing his hand gestures when he thinks he’s saying something important. The look on his face when he listens, eyes unblinking, gaze steady, solely focused on the person in front of him. Everything. Mark also remembers the few times he’s seen Jackson workout. But he’s not going to let his mind wander in that direction.

Mark remembers that one time he and Jackson went to the park, because Jackson really wanted ice cream and well, Mark could never say no to him. No matter how hard he tried. Halfway through there walk they encountered a little girl, no more than three or four or tops, sitting under a tree. This was a concerning sight because not only was there no adult visible nearby, the girl also happened to be crying.

Jackson immediately went over to her, slowly so as not to scare her. “Are you ok?” he asked. Jackson stopped his movements when he saw the girls head shoot up, eyes red, cheeks stained, and sobs only intensifying.

“Hey hey, I promise I won’t hurt you. I’ll stay right here. I just want to know where your mom or dad is.” Jackson hurriedly said, crouching down, giving the girl a small smile.

“I-I don’t know where mommy is.” The girl managed to choke out. Voice so quite that he’s surprised Jackson heard her.

“What’s your name?”

“Mommy said I can’t talk to strangers.”

“Hmm. Well mommy is right. My mommy taught me that too. How about we get to know each other then?” Jackson asked, extending his hand. “My name is Jackson. There, now we are not strangers.”

The girl seemed to relax, deciding that Jackson was not a threat. “My name is Emily.”

“Emily, what a beautiful name, for such a beautiful girl.” Jackson smiled brightly at Emily, happy that she seemed to be relaxing.

Emily’s face broke out into a small smile, a little giggle escaping her lips. She extended her hand to meet Jackson’s, and if Mark thought Jackson couldn’t look any happier, then he was wrong. Jackson looked like he’d won a lottery when Emily shook his hand.

For the rest of their mission to find Emily’s parents, that included more of Jackson trying to make Emily laugh and buying her ice cream, Mark watched how protective Jackson acted around the little girl. They had just met her 5 minutes ago and Jackson was acting like her big brother. It was… sweet. Seeing Jackson interact with the little girl. Seeing the girl who had just been sobbing under a tree a while ago, now laughing and walking happily next to Jackson.

That was Mark’s favorite memory with Jackson. Out of there almost 2 years of friendship, that was his favorite. Not the time him and the gang had a movie night at Mark’s dorm and Mark woke up with no feeling in his right arm because Jackson had fallen asleep on it. Not the time Jackson somehow convinced Mark to dress up as bunnies during Halloween and Jackson would not stop looking at him and calling him cute all night.

Not even that one time BamBam and Jackson crossed dressed as girls and danced their hearts out to every single girl group song on BamBam’s playlist. All to make Mark feel better because Mark was having a bad day. Mark doesn’t think he’s ever laughed so hard in his life. He’d also never imagined Jackson could actually pull off wearing a dress.

No. The day in the park, seeing Jackson interact with the little girl, was just a beautiful sight. Maybe it was because Mark got to witness a whole different and caring side of Jackson. Protective Jackson. Worried Jackson. Happy Jackson.  Maybe Mark has a thing for people who interact well with kids?

 

 _Or maybe you just have a thing for everything Jackson does?_ His brain chided.    

 

That day in the park confirmed to Mark that maybe he was slightly in infatuated with the younger. But did Mark do anything about it? _Of course not._ He couldn’t. Jackson wasn’t his soulmate. Jackson didn’t even have his soulmate tattoo. Even the possibility of Jackson liking him back would mean nothing. That wouldn’t be enough for Jackson to ignore the piece of writing that would soon mark his body, letting him know the identity of his own soulmate. He would never leave his soulmate for Mark.

If the situations were reversed, Mark probably wouldn’t either. But Mark is going to be just a little bit selfish and wish Jackson would.


	2. Getting His Shit Together ft Momma Jinyoung and Fangirl Jimin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark wasn’t upset. Really, he wasn’t.
> 
> So what if Jackson had been acting weird for the past couple of days? And was avoiding him at campus, and the gym…and was also strangely robotic and monotone on text.

**Jackson** is a horrible person. The worst. A hypocrite like no other.

It’s been almost two weeks since he’s seen Mark. Which is his doing because he’s been purposely voiding the elder. Making up lame excuses about school, work, even changing his workout days so he doesn’t risk running into Mark at the gym. Thank goodness he and Mark were completing two different majors, so the chances of meeting at campus were low as well. Not that he didn’t go out of his away before to meet Mark before and after classes.

So much for being honest and real with people eh? Mark didn’t deserve this type of treatment from Jackson. He wondered if the older suspected anything. He still kept Mark updated on his life through text messages, so maybe Mark really was buying all the school and work bullshit.

Maybe Mark was, but Jinyoung wasn’t. Along with avoiding Mark, Jackson has also been avoiding is other friends as well.

That is until Jinyoung had come knocking at his dorm a few days back and demanded Jackson come get coffee with him. Threatening him with pictures of him from the time he cross-dressed with BamBam. How exactly did Jinyoung convince him to do that? And why was BamBam so eager to actually do it?

Jackson didn’t even put up a fight with Jinyoung. No logical person would ever fight with their mom if they are in the wrong. And the idea of talking to someone about this whole predicament he was in actually sounded comforting.

They sat across from each other, waiting for their order.  Jinyoung looking quite comfortable with a scarf wrapped around his neck. The café was quite busy, the sound of mindless chatter all around them. Their friend Jimin finally arrived with their order and he chatted with her for a few minutes, playfully teasing her because that was one of his favorite pass times, until she had to go back to work. Jinyoung still hadn’t spoken a word. He was quite. Too quite. And it was making Jackson restless.  

“So-“Jackson decided to break the silence but Jinyoung spoke at the same time as well.

“Jackson. Is everything ok? Please don’t say ‘its fine’ when you’ve practically been off the grid for the past two weeks. And you kind of look like your uncomfortable sitting here with me.” Jinyoung glanced down at his hands that were tapping away at the surface of the table. A habit of Jackson’s when he wants to say something but doesn’t exactly now how to.

Jackson sighed, looking up to meet Jinyoung’s concerned eyes. He mulled over on how to exactly start this conversation.

“Mark didn’t say anything to upset you or something, right? Did you get into a fight?” Jinyoung asked.

“No no, of course not. Mark could never do anything to hurt me.” Jackson replied, a little defensively.

“You know Mark actually believes that maybe he’s done something to upset you? You’re always attached to his hip. It’s not like you to give anyone, let alone Mark the cold shoulder.”

“No no – I didn’t, I mean, ok yes, I have been avoiding Mark, I’ve been avoiding everyone, but Mark didn’t do anything to upset me, neither did any of you guys. Something…something happened last week and I’m just not ready to face the problem. I would, but, I don’t know what to do and I’ve never been so lost before. Jinyoung I don’t know what to do.” Jackson probably wasn’t making any sense right now. But he was surprised to see Jinyoung nodding his head and looking as if he had finally figured something out.

“Is this about your soulmate tattoo?” Jinyoung asked hesitantly.

Jackson’s mouth fell open, eyes widening as well. What? How did he- but- yes Jinyoung is the mother of the group and really nothing gets past him, but Jackson hadn’t told anyone about this!

“How-how did you know-“

“I saw it. The night you went clubbing on your birthday? It was me who dropped you and BamBam both home. Maybe you did have too much to drink, judging by your face you don’t remember seeing me at all that night do you?”

 

No, he didn’t remember. And yes, maybe he did have a little too much to drink that night.

Jinyoung knew.

This whole time.

What if he told Mark? Did he tell Mark?

 

As if reading his mind, Jinyoung added “Relax, I haven’t told anyone about this. I was waiting for you to say something.”

For the next several minutes, Jackson poured out everything that has been clouding his mind for the last two weeks. Jackson could practically feel the weight being lifted off of him. And of course in order to have his story make sense he had to tell Jinyoung he was in love with Mark and had been for a while. And again, Jinyoung surprised Jackson by not actually looking surprised at all at his confession. Does anything ever get past him?

“It’s kind of obvious how much you love him. And how much he loves you. It’s actually so annoying seeing you both dance around each other. How could two people be so oblivious to each other?” Jinyoung asked, looking both relieved by his confession and kind of fed up like he was explaining something to a 3 year old because-wait. Hold up – how much _Mark loves him_?

“Jinyoung, Mark doesn’t love me.” Jackson was surprised at how much those words hurt to say out loud. “His soulmate-“

“His soulmate is dead. Mark never got to meet him. Never got to fall in love with him. Mark can’t stop himself from eventually falling in love with someone. Don’t you think it’s worse for Mark? Even if he comes to term with the fact that his soulmate doesn’t exist, he risks falling in love with anyone because what are the chances of meeting a second soulmate?”

“Jinyoung it doesn’t take a tattoo to let you know Mark would be a wonderful person to spend the rest of your life with. A lot of people would be happy to risk being with Mark.” _Including me_ , Jackson thought to himself. Jackson could feel heat spreading across his cheeks, and he looked down, embarrassed by the words coming out of his mouth. “And if they don’t, they don’t know what they’re missing out on.”

Jinyoung reached across the table to grasp Jackson’s hand. That half fed up, half exasperated expression back on his face. “And your one of those people who don’t know what they’re missing out on. And would risk it as well.” Jinyoung said, with a small smile.

Jackson tightened is hold on Jinyoung's hand. Trying to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Do you remember the time I cut my hand while cooking and had to get stiches? And the time BamBam got out of hand during a nigh out clubbing and got himself beaten by a couple of people?” Jackson nodded. “We both ended up in the hospitable because of those incidents. Now think of the time you sprained your ankle during fencing practice. How many times did Mark come over to your dorms to check up on you after that? How many times did he freak out over you putting on the littlest weight? How many times did Mark act like you had broken both of your legs and needed nursing 24/7?” Jackson smiled, the memories coming back to him.  Jackson thinks he knows where Jinyoung is going with this. And it shocks him how used to he has gotten with Mark fretting over him that it hadn’t occurred to him that the special attention he received from the elder might mean more then he thinks it does.

“Mark didn’t do that with me or BamBam. I’m not saying Mark doesn’t care about me or BamBam, but a cut hand and a beating is a whole lot worse than a sprained ankle. I am 99.9% sure you’ve been glossing over the way Mark is around you as just friendly behavior. In fact, I don’t think Mark realizes how obvious he is either.” Jinyoung said, with a roll of his eyes.

Damn those butterflies were back in Jackson’s stomach, and his head felt like it was buzzing with too much information. But something spurred inside of Jackson and he felt…hopeful? Maybe…this could work out for him. Maybe he and Mark could work something out.

“Should I just… should I just tell him?”

“Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, which I pretty much know he does, who do you think your hurting more if you choose to keep this all locked in? You’re the one who’s all about being honest and open right? Take your own advice for a change. At least let Mark know you’re not upset with him.”

Jackson doesn’t know why, but suddenly, he just had the urge to go and meet Mark. God how did he go two weeks without seeing his face? He needed to first apologize for being completely MIA for the past two weeks. To let him know that he’s not upset him, could never really be upset with him.  And then… and then…

 

And then be honest with him.

Jinyoung was right.

 

Carrying these feelings around wasn’t making him feel any better. At least the feelings he’d been harboring for the past one year would be out in the open. And if Mark were to reject him then…

Jackson’s stomach twisted by the thought of Mark not returning his feelings. And refusing to even be his friend after he confessed…

No. Jackson wouldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t force himself on the elder. He just wanted to be honest with Mark. And with himself. He couldn’t lose Mark as a friend.

“Have you finally convinced yourself to go talk to Mark?” Jinyoung asked, who’d been quietly observing Jackson for the past few minutes. Jackson really did wear his heart on his sleeves. It was way too easy to tell how he was feeling just by looking at his face. Just moments ago, he saw excitement and determination flicker across Jackson’s face, then guilt, worry, and now, something acute to fear and worry.

“Yes, yes I- I need to go talk to Mark. I should do it now. I want to go see Mark now. He’s at his dorm right?” Jackson replied back, already standing up.

“Should be, his bed is his favorite place to hang out on Saturdays.”   

“Thank you for listening Jinyoung, I wish I talked to you two weeks ago.”

Jinyoung smiled at Jackson. “It’s ok. Sooner or later you’ll realize my worth.”

Jackson chuckled and immediately went to wrap is arms around him. Ok so maybe Jackson had a problem when it came to hugging people. Sue him.

“I’m really sorry for ignoring you guys for the past few weeks, I wasn’t trying-“

“Jackson, its ok. Really. I’m not upset. ” Jinyoung interrupted, returning back the hug. “Now stop wasting time and go find Mark.” Jinyoung added, pulling back and giving him his best “you can do it!” smile. Jackson gave him one last smile before he quite literally _bolted_ towards the doors.

 

Jinyoung shook his head and smiled to himself. _Seriously, how could two people be so oblivious to each others feelings?_

“Why did Jackson just run out looking like a madmen? I think he actually knocked an old lady down.” Jimin said, coming up beside him with a tray of orders balanced on one hand and washcloth in the other.

“I’ll give you a hint. I think your OTP might become canon soon.” Jinyoung smirked at her, taking a sip of his coffee, knowing exactly the way she would react to this. 

Jimin gave him a confused look. But after a moment her eyes widened and she said “Ohmygosh Jaebum finally asked you out?”

Jinyoung eyes widened and he choked on his coffee and spluttered it all over the table. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red. He coughed a few times to get his breathing back to normal. “ _What_? No! Me and _Jaebum_ -that’s not- who is your ultimate OTP?” Jinyoung managed to wheeze out.

Jimin finally seemed to catch up to Jinyoung. Her eyes brightened and she was squealing and jumping up and down on the spot, and Jinyoung was surprised the tray in her hands hadn’t tipped over yet.

“No way! Mark and Jackson?!” Jimin really needed to calm down because they were getting strange looks from people now.

“Yes, and calm down, you’re making a scene.”

It’s as if Jinyoung hadn’t spoken at all, because Jimin still continued to squeal and giggle like the fangirl she was. “God it’s about _fucking_ time. I was so ready to just put them in a room and force them to sort out their shit.”

Jinyoung chuckle, knowing full well she meant it. “Yes, so was I.”

Jimin looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself. “Ok my manager is giving me weird looks, I have to go, but I want more details on this later on.” she said, schooling her features, but Jinyoung could see the genuine happiness evident in her eyes. “By the way, Mark and Jackson might be happening now, but I need you and Jaebum to happen as well. And don’t think I won’t lock you two in a room if I have to as well.” And she walked away before Jinyoung had the chance to reply. Not that he could anyway.

Jimin didn’t have to turn back to know Jinyoung was probably sitting there, head down in embarrassment and resembling a tomato.

* * *

Mark wasn’t upset. Really, he wasn’t.

 

So what if Jackson had been acting weird for the past couple of days. And was avoiding him at campus, and the gym…and was also strangely robotic on text.

Maybe Jackson had something going on. Maybe the excuses about school assignments and work were actually legit. Maybe something was bothering Jackson. Maybe Mark had done something to upset Jackson. Because Jackson has never failed to open up with Mark about anything before in the past, so maybe he did unintentionally do something to hurt the younger.

But then again, why wouldn’t Jackson come out and call Mark out? Being reserved and quite was not in Jackson’s nature. This sounded like something Mark would do. _God_ , is this how Jackson felt around Mark in the very beginning of their friendship?

 

Ok so maybe Mark was upset. He hasn’t seen Jackson in two weeks and if it weren’t for the fact that he feels like he’s being avoided on _purpose_ , maybe he wouldn’t be that upset.

 

However at this moment, not only was Mark upset, but he was confused, and kind of betrayed. He hadn’t expected to find Jackson and Jinyoung when he went out for lunch. Jinyoung didn’t tell him he’d be meeting with Jackson when he left that morning. He also remembers Jinyoung telling him that he hasn’t heard from Jackson either in a while. Not that he has anything against Jinyoung hanging out with Jackson, why would he, they were all friends. But why didn’t Jinyoung tell him anything?

So Jackson really was avoiding him. He still had no idea why though. And he desperately tried to rack is brain to remember anything he might’ve done to have hurt Jackson.

Mark could’ve gone in the café and confronted Jackson. But he left the scene as quickly as possible. He didn’t go back to his dorm. He didn’t want to see Jinyoung either.

Mark didn’t know where he was heading, letting his feet lead the path. When he finally looked up and observed his surroundings he laughed quietly to himself. He was back at the same park him and Jackson usually got ice cream from. Where they found that little girl.

Mark felt his phone vibrate but chose to ignore it. Rather preferring to enjoy the weather and a few moments of silence. However, whoever was messaging Mark was really persistent because his phone kept getting notifications every few minutes. When he finally pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the screen, he froze, seeing a certain someone's name flashing before his eyes.

 

Jackson.

 

Instead of being happy that Jackson had finally decided to call him, Mark felt even more upset then he was before. And kind of irritated. Clearly the only reason Jackson was getting in contact with Jackson now was because Jinyoung had maybe convinced him. There little coffee date should be over by now. He bet they were discussing Mark just a few minutes ago.

Maybe Mark shouldn’t assume so much, but he couldn’t think of anything he did wrong and wanted to be upset at Jackson. Let’s see how he likes it. Mark bet he sounded childish, but a few more days of avoiding Jackson wouldn’t kill him. They wouldn’t. Mark had some sense of self-control. 

* * *

Jackson walked into his dorm, groceries in hand and music blasting in his ears. It was around 7 on a school night. Jackson had time on his hand so he ran some errands. Even went to the gym. The assignment Mark had reminded to do he finished over the weekend, so there was nothing urgent from his classes that needed his major attention at the moment.

Speaking of Mark. Jackson went through his phone, finding the latest message he sent him.

 

 

Jackson understood Mark was busy. He couldn’t really complain about Mark not having time for him when he was the one who was avoiding the elder. But what’s bothering Jackson is the fact that Mark hadn’t suggested for them to meet up at some other time. Like he usually would. As if he didn’t want to meet up with Jackson at all.

And that thought wasn’t setting well with Jackson so he was hopeful that wasn’t the case. The tables were flipped now. It was Jackson who was trying to get Mark’s attention while the elder avoided him.

When Jackson tried to meet up with the elder last Saturday after his meet up with Jinyoung, Mark texted him that he couldn’t. He later found out from Jinyoung that he hadn’t seen Mark at all during either the weekend, which is surprising because they are roommates.  

Jackson sighed and ran a hand through his hair, at a loss at what to do. He needed to talk to Mark. Like, ASAP. He first needed to get a hold of him. Why was Mark avoiding him? Did Jackson really take it too far and was now delusional for thinking that suddenly talking to Mark would mean all is ok?

Jackson’s phone rang and he looked down to see Jinyoung’s name flashing across the screen. He accepted the call and before he could say anything, Jinyoung was hurriedly talking on the other end.

“Mark’s in the apartment. I saw him walk in as I was leaving. I suggest you come over right now because who knows how longer he’s going to keep this up. Which might be a very long time, because this is Mark we’re talking about and being quite is like one of his best skills. Hello? Jackson? Can you hear me?”

“Yes yes, thank you Jinyoung, I’m going to head over right now.” Jackson replied and quickly said his goodbyes. He didn’t waste any more time, grabbing his keys and rushing out of his dorm. Mark and Jinyoung’s building was just a few minutes away from his.

Not even a few steps outside of his building did Jackson feel something wet drop on his forehead. He looked up at and noticed the dark clouds coloring the sky.  He debated running back in go get a jacket but didn’t have time nor the patience. Jackson prayed the rain would hold off for a few more minutes.

But of course Jackson spoke too soon because a few seconds later, whatever was left of the light in the sky disappeared. The clouds accumulated by the second, and then began the downpour.

Great. Just great. Jackson tried jogging the rest of the way to Mark’s complex. It wasn’t a long journey, but by the time he’d reached his destination, his clothes were soaked and he was shivering uncontrollably. He could just imagine getting scolded by the elder for being so careless and the thought made him smile.

Ok, so, maybe enduring the rain isn’t so bad.

The butterflies were returning to Jackson’s stomach now as he neared Mark’s dorm. Out of nervousness or excitement he didn’t know. But this was it. He was finally going to tell Mark the thing that’s been eating away at him for the past two weeks. He was going to come clean. Put himself out there.  

He held his breath and knocked on the door, and waited. The butterflies came back at full force once the door finally opened and out appeared the brunette.

Surprise, confusion, concern. Just some of the few emotions he saw flash across the Mark’s face as he took Jackson in. He didn’t look…particularly happy to see Jackson like he hoped he would.

“What are you doing here?” Mark asked, eyebrows furrowed but the rest of his face quite blank, abide of any emotion.

Ok. So no hi or hellos. No greeting. Ok. Ok. That’s alright. Jackson wasn’t going to be off the hook so easily. He’d figured much. He cleared his throat and looked up at him, trying to make eye contact. “I-um, I needed to talk to you. And Jinyoung told me you were home so-“

“Jinyoung?” Mark raised one of his eyebrows at the mention of Jinyoung’s name and if Jackson didn’t know any better he’d think he sensed a hint of irritation.

“Yes Jinyoung. Its really important that I talk to you now, about-why for the past few weeks-“

“What makes you think I want to hear what you’ve got to say? If you really cared about how I was feeling then you would’ve talked to me long ago.”

Jackson’s eyes widened slightly as the sentence he was going to say suddenly died in his throat. Ok. Well... Damage control. _DAMAGE CONTROL PRONTO_ , his brain screamed at him.

The butterflies in his stomach felt like blades now and he spoke up again, trying to keep his voice even. “I know, please just let me explain-“.

“Jackson I really don’t have time right now, I just came back to my dorm to pick up a few things.” Mark interrupted. “The universe doesn’t revolve around your schedule. I have things to get done and I don’t have time to deal with your childish games.” Mark added.

He wasn’t yelling, or even raising his voice. But Jackson could hear the indifference in his tone and suddenly felt like a third person to Mark. Sure he’d expected Mark to be upset with him, even mad and stubborn, but he didn’t think the elder would cut him off before he even got to explain himself.

Hearing Mark calling Jackson out on his childish behavior suddenly made Jackson feel small. Quite literally like a child who disappointed an elder.

Jackson hung his head down, unable to keep looking Mark in the eyes. Seeing nothing but coldness in them. He felt a stinging behind his eyes and shut his eyes tightly because no way was he going to seem even more pathetic by making a show and crying in front of Mark.  

The butterflies-turned-blades in Jackson’s stomach were now gone, but they seemed to have migrated to his heart.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” Jackson managed to whisper out, not knowing if he was allowed to say anything else, or if Mark would listen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else on board with Jimin and ship Jinyoung and Jaebum?
> 
> Opinions on the way Mark is choosing to handle the situation?


	3. The End Is Just The Beginning ft BTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Great, you made him cry. Nice going, jackass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should not have taken this long to update, so I am very sorry for leaving it where I did with the last chapter!
> 
> I dont want to give anything away, but read the endnotes if you make it to the end.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Fuck.**

 

This is not what he wanted to happen.

 

This is not what he wanted to say.

 

That is not how he wanted to handle the situation.

 

 _Well what the fuck did you think would happen when you refused to let him talk and called him a child?_ His brain asked and Mark really wasn’t in the mood to fight with his mind right now.

“Oh no-Jackson- im- that’s not- I didn’t mean-please look at me.” Mark quickly got out. Whatever act he was putting on a few seconds way instantly disappearing when Jackson gave him that look - that look of pure dejection – and looked down.  

Maybe it was a bad idea to ask Jackson to look at him, because when he did, his throat tightened. Jackson refused to look in the eyes but Mark still noticed the glassiness in the others eyes.

 _Great, you made him cry. Nice going, jackass._ Mark ignored his thoughts and took notice of how Jackson was still shivering. So as if Jackson looking near tears wasn’t enough, the fact that he was standing there dripping wet and shaking made the situation a whole lot worse to look at.

He quickly grabbed Jackson’s hand and pulled him inside. “Take off that sweater, you’re going to catch a cold. Stay here while I fetch a towel-“

Mark’s words got interrupted because next thing he knew, he had a handful of Jackson in his arms. The younger had quite literally launched himself at Mark as soon as he pulled him inside and was now clinging on to his chest. He heard him let out a small sniffle and at this point he just wanted to go back in time to shoot past Mark for handling the situation the way he did.

He automatically wrapped his arms around Jackson, being at a loss for words. He felt awful and was pretty sure any words of comfort he would say would just make the matters worse. So Mark just let him quite down on his own, hugging him tighter and running his hands through his hair. He was getting his own clothes wet but he could care less about that right now.  

Mark would really love to enjoy how intimate they were both being right now but this is not the type of intimacy he wanted -with an armful of a crying Jackson. An armful of Jackson- yes. But not an armful of _crying_ Jackson.

 _Why are you just standing there? Has your mouth stopped functioning? Say something!_ Mark’s head was extra chatty today but this time he didn’t have a reason to ignore it.

“Jackson I’m-“

“I’m sorry.” Jackson interrupted. “I know it’s not enough and I have a lot of explaining to do but I’m so sorry for avoiding you. I know it sounds cheesy, but it wasn’t you, it really was me who…needed to pull my shit together and I didn’t know how-“

Jackson was rambling now, still pressed against Mark’s, words slightly muffled on his chest. The more Jackson talked, the worse he felt. Why is he saying sorry? Mark should be apologizing. He was the one who acted harsh with his words and wouldn’t let the younger talk.

He pulled back slightly and took Jackson’s face in his hands, forcing the younger to look up at him. He wasn’t crying but his eyes were slightly red and mouth set in a frown.

“Stop apologizing. You’re actually making me feel worse. Whatever your reason was, I should’ve given you a chance to explain instead of-instead of saying all that I said.” Mark spoke softly, hoping Jackson could hear the sincerity in his voice. “I…I’ve missed you. I was upset and just lashing out-”

Ok. What did Mark do now? Because instead of hoping his words would comfort the other, they were doing the exact opposite. Jackson looked like he was close to tears again. But the reddening in his cheeks and smile working its way on his face said so otherwise. “I’m sorry-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you again-“

Jackson chuckled –oh-he was laughing -and smiling- _thank the lord_ he was finally smiling. “I’m not crying.” He replied. “I’m just relieved. I seriously thought I screwed up everything and that I crossed some line with you-“

“No Jackson, you didn’t screw up anything. I could never stay mad at you for too long. Which is pretty impressive because you can seriously be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

Jackson pouted and was about to reply in protest but sneezed instead.

“Go sit down and let me get you a towel. This is why I told you to take off your sweater. You’re going to get sick” Mark said scolded, pushing Jackson towards the couch. 

 

Jackson grinned and let out a sigh of relief. Everything was ok. Everything was ok. Mark wasn’t mad at him. He hadn’t ruined everything. Mark forgave him. Mark even apologized himself. Mark said he…missed him. Things were under control again.

Damage control: Check.

Jackson did as we was told and took off his sweater, sighing in relief as the wet material left his body and air touched his bare skin. He caught a glance at the little piece of writing on his hand that was the cause of all this mess.

 _Oh yah_. He thought. I still had to explain the whole tattoo business to Mark. 

He heard movement behind him and turned around to see Mark approaching him.

Mark halted his movements for a brief second, forgetting momentarily that he had asked Jackson to take off his sweater. He took in a deep breath and tried not to think about how gorgeous Jackson’s arms and chest currently looked glistening in water. Those trips to the gym were definitely paying off. His body was toned and lean in just the right way, without being too much. It doesn’t even make sense for Mark to call Jackson a kid, when he was anything but-physically.  But the sight of Jackson standing there in just his tank really was beautiful and Mark could probably make a fan page dedicated just to his body but that would be equally parts creepy and perverted of him. He resumed his movements and slowly approached Jackson.

Something felt off in the air. Even though they cleared some of the tension between them a few minutes back, he felt like he was missing out on something and doesn’t know what. Mark thinks maybe it’s because of the fact that Jackson was standing there without a shirt, but there is something in Jackson’s eyes that he can’t quite recognize. He was playing with his hands, a habit he’s seen the younger do if he’s wants to say something but isn’t sure he should.

Jackson lifts his hands, palms facing up and towards him. Mark glanced at his hands and back at his face with a questioning look, but then did a double take when he spotted writing on the younger's wrist.

On closer inspection Mark realizes that it is a tattoo. It was a piece of writing. Written quite nicely – Oh. _Oh_.  It was a soulmate tattoo. Jackson’s…soulmate tattoo.

The situation seemed awfully familiar to the time he revealed his tattoo to Jackson and he had a sense of déjà vu. What a great day that was, eh?

He looked up at the younger, who was watching him closely. Waiting. He brought his palms closer to Mark, and asked “Do you see the name?”.

He looked down at Jackson’s wrist again. It looked so much better than his soulmate tattoo.  Instead of a blotchy faded mess that was on his arm, Jackson’s tattoo, in clear blank ink read _Mark Tuan_.

 

…

 

Wait.

 

What?

 

Did he read that right?

 

Oh my god. He did. He did. He did read it right!

 

Fuck-shit-oh my god.

 

That was his name. That was his _fucking_ name on Jackson’s wrist. It was his name.  Mark was…Jackson’s soulmate. He was Jackson’s soulmate.

Mark wished he could say something but no words seemed to be wanting to come out of his mouth. He bet he resembled a fish with how his mouth kept opening and closing. Honestly, he was 22 years old. An adult. Why can’t he do a better job at being in control of his actions?

 Jackson looked at Mark, trying to gauge his reaction, not being able to decipher anything but shock. The elder didn’t say anything, looking quite flustered actually. His eyes were as big as saucers, mouth agape. But the silence was eating away at Jackson so he decided to say something to fill up the space.

“This is the reason why I’ve been avoiding you. I discovered it the morning of my birthday and… had no idea what to make of it. Because you already had your soulmate and I didn’t know what this would mean.” Jackson was impressed he managed to get that our without his voice breaking.

“Why…Were you…disappointed it was me?”

Jackson gave out a humorless chuckle. Disappointed did not come close to describing how he felt. But Mark was looking at him like he was almost afraid to hear his answer.

“Is that a serious question?” Jackson asked in disbelief.  “Of course I wasn’t disappointed. But the reason why… I handled it the way I did and didn’t tell you was because I thought this would turn into one of those unrequited love stories but really I was…” he trailed of.

“You were…?”

Jackson felt like the air around him was getting thicker by the second. His heart was still pounding away in his chest. But he’d already said so much, he couldn’t let his nerves get him down now. “I was… I was happy because… Iwasinlove. I mean, I um- am still in love, with you.” _Yah fuck eye contact_ , Jackson thought, looking down at his hands and toying with his fingers. No one told him saying those words would be so embarrassing.

“And I was, um, afraid to do anything about it because I couldn’t, I’m not your soulmate.” Jackson knew he told himself that if Mark didn’t return his feelings then it would be ok. He wouldn’t push himself on the elder. But now, the thought of being rejected…

“So… you were avoiding me because I turned out to be your soulmate, and even though that made you happy, you were afraid it would mean nothing and that I wouldn’t love you back?” Mark asked, trying to organize the literal bomb of information that Jackson Wang just dropped on him.

“Yes.”

Mark wanted to strangle the younger man and then wrap his arms around him and never let him go. Did Jackson hear himself? _He_ was scared that Mark wouldn’t return his feelings?! _He_? 

The Jackson who so easily understood Mark. The Jackson that dealt with his tsundere ass when he first met him. The Jackson who acted like a child 95% of the time. The Jackson who made him laugh till his stomach hurt. The Jackson’s whose high pitched hyena laugh made Mark laugh. The Jackson who went out of his way to meet him before and after classes. The Jackson who would stay over to watch movies with him and let Mark always pick the movie. The Jackson who had Mark’s Starbucks order memorized one week into their friendship. The Jackson who interacted with a little lost girl for 15 minutes and made Mark’s heart swell in his chest. _The_ Jackson Wang who…made him feel not so alone in this world.

“I was wrong.” Mark finally decided to say. “You really aren’t a kid anymore. But you are, the biggest idiot I’ve ever met. In my life. And…so am I.”

Mark didn’t give Jackson the time to react before he reached out and grabbed him by the neck, startling the younger. Jackson gave out a small gasp that died halfway in his mouth when he felt Mark’s lips on his.

* * *

Mark was kissing him. Oh my _fucking_ god Mark was _kissing_ him.

It was just the simple pressing of lips against lips but _God_ was it making him feel things. His lips were buzzing and his skin burned from where Mark’s hands were placed. Jackson’s own hands were awkwardly hovering in front of him, not knowing where to place them. When he finally had half the mind to return the kiss-

Mark pulled back after realizing the other was not responding and he had a brief moment of panic because maybe this was a little out of line and not the best thing to do at this moment. But before he could fully pull back, Jackson reached out and grabbed him by his collar and pulled him back in.

Jackson doesn’t know where the sudden boost of confidence came from but he wasn’t going to complain. He liked the new position a lot better because

  1. he was not no longer just standing there immobile  
  2. _he_ was the one kissing Mark
  3. even though Jackson was slightly (just _slightly_ ) shorter than Mark, he’d somehow managed to be the one leaning down and kissing him and – _oh wait_ \- how did they get up against the wall?- and _God_ did the small amount of dominance inflate his ego



Jackson gasped when he felt a tongue trail across the bottoms of his lips which the elder eagerly swallowed. Mark snaked his arms around him, bringing him even closer. Jackson’s hands were on the others hips now and the small squeeze he gave had Mark gasping and pulling away.

Pupils dilated, lips swollen and wet. Jackson had the urge to go back and kiss Mark senseless but he really needed to catch his breath.

Mark’s hands had made their way down to Jackson’s bare sides and Jackson became acutely aware that he was still only wearing a tank. Which in the midst of their kissing ( _seriously how did they get up against the wall?_ ) was now scrunched up and exposing a bit of his stomach. He pushed his tank down and leaned away from Mark and felt his breathing get back to normal.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I pushed you against the wall.” he said, sheepishly.

“It’s ok.” Mark replied. It was actually more than ok. Jackson could push him against the wall and kiss him again if he wanted. It was actually preferred he did. Sooner or later. The sooner the better.

“So um, you…why did you kiss me-wait-no-that’s stupid. You kissed me because you like me back…right?” Jackson asked, fumbling with his words. He had an inclining as to what the elder would say. _Why the fuck else would he have kissed you?_ But he had to make sure he wasn’t getting the wrong signals-

“I think saying I like you would be an understatement.”

 

Oh. _Oh._

 

“Oh. Well, that’s good. I mean. We are both on the same page then. Because…you know, I said I kinda loved you too...just before.”

 

 _Smooth._ Real smooth _._

 

Jackson knew that if he were to ever look back at this moment, he’d cringe at how awkward he was being. This was Mark he was talking to. His first friend in university. His friend turned best friend turned love interest. Why was his mouth refusing to form coherent sentences?

They make confessions look so _easy_ in movies. The main characters would just look at each other and know what the other was thinking. Words would gracefully spill from their mouths to address their situation. Maybe they knew how to mind read? Telekinesis? Telepathy?

Or maybe love was just one dangerous motherfucker because it had accomplished in turning Jackson Wang into a stuttering and awkward 13 year old girl.

Mark couldn’t help but love the nervous and shy Jackson standing right in front of him. It’s rare to be able to bring him down to this. But it was so _fucking_ adorable the way he refused to make eye contact and the way his cheeks burned a deep shade of red the more he spoke. And Mark didn’t know what to do with himself. He is surprised that he wasn’t in a similar state.

He pushed himself off the wall and took a hold of Jackson’s hands. “Come on, let’s get you changed. You’re going to get sick.”

  

Mark and Jackson sat opposite of each other on the couch, the latter now in a new set of clothing that were just a little too big for him. For which Mark had to tease him about while the younger feigned annoyance in return. Mark had to turn around while Jackson stripped out of his clothes and he told himself it was to give the other some privacy, but really it was to stop the trains of thoughts threatening to overtake his brain. If just looking at Jackson’s bear arms had him so mesmerized, imagine what the rest of his body could…No. He had to get a hold of himself. _Stop being such a thirsty bitch_ , he told himself. 

They sat in comfortable silence. Jackson was back to mulling over his thoughts so he could form proper sentences this time. But he still wasn’t sure how to start this off. He looked up when he felt movement and saw Mark reach out for his hand. The elder was gazing at his wrist, finger tips tracing over his tattoo. And Jackson was thankful for how the small amount of contact made him somehow relax.

“Jackson.” Mark said looking up at the younger. “You told me you were afraid of confessing because you didn’t think I’d love you back?” A nod. “But I do. Have loved you for a while…” A small smile. “But you seem…I don’t know…tense? Unsure? Am I making you feel that way?”

Jackson frowned at the question. “No, no…it’s not that. It’s this…whole situation. Is it as simple as I think it is? Everything is out in the open now and … is it just as easy as being together now?” he asked hesitantly, brows furrowed in question.

Mark wanted to reach out and smooth out the worry lines on Jackson’s forehead but he refrained himself. “Why isn’t it as easy as that?” he asked instead, stilling his fingers on Jackson’s hands.

Jackson opened and closed his mouth, pondering over the question. _Why wasn’t it as easy as that?_

 

Because…it just wasn’t.

 

“Mark, I want to be with you. For as long as I can. My tattoo didn’t have to convince me.” Jackson replied, eyes trailing down to his wrist. “But I- I want to know if it matters to you. I don’t know how you can be _my_ soulmate, without _me_ being _yours_. The universe really wants to fuck with me eh?”

Mark wanted to repeat to Jackson what an idiot he was like he had said so not too long ago because if anyone was the victim in this predicament, it was Jackson. Because he has to deal with a soulmate who doesn’t have his name tattooed on him.

“Why does it sound like your blaming yourself for this? It’s no one’s fault. I should be the one asking if you want to be with me. If you’re willing to give this a shot. As cliché as it sounds, I belong to _you_ , but you don’t belong to _me_. That’s up to you to decide.”

Jackson stared at Mark in surprise, once again rendered speechless by the elder. He wanted to laugh at how he and Mark seemed to be on the same page- how they were both hesitant on the situation at hand because they both felt sorry for the other person. 

“My perspectives on soulmate tattoos has changed, a lot, over the past few years. And yes, it’s because of personal experience why I think how this whole system is actually pretty fucked up. Your other half, someone who you’re supposed to spend forever with is decided by some upper powers and we don’t even question it? Just blindly accept it and leave everything to faith? But then…” Mark paused, shifting his eyes from Jackson’s face down to his wrists again which he noticed he still hadn’t let go of. Jackson’s hands were warm and a comfortable weight he decided he should focus on to keep his thoughts in check.

“But then I looked at your tattoo, my name written on your wrist and-“ Mark lets out a small laugh and smiled up at Jackson, although he doubt what he was thinking was really that funny – “I forget about all that, in a span of seconds. I without a doubt accept that I am yours and … I couldn’t help but wish you were mine.” He finished. Mark hated how desperate he sounded in the last little bit but talking about his own tattoo still proved to be a hard tact for him.   

He blinked his eyes a couple of times and yup – tears. Great. Just like last time, Mark didn’t seem to have any control over his emotions, especially when he was around Jackson. He brought one hand to his face, trying to simultaneously hide and erase the wetness around his eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying…”

“Don’t apologize for something like that.” Jackson answered, once he found his voice. He brought both of his hands up to push away Mark’s hands and replaced it with his owns. He wiped away at the corners of the others eyes and tugged his face so Mark was meeting his eyes. “I want to be yours too. I want to give us a shot. I don’t know…what to expect. But I’m tired of dancing around you with my feelings.”

God, it was that simple? Jackson made everything sound so easy. Every single word filled with hope and confidence and Mark felt months’ worth of weight of repressing his feelings suddenly being lifted off his chest.

Mark didn’t realize he was unconsciously leaning in to Jackson as the younger spoke. The more he talked, the more his heart seemed to be pulled by him. Jackson’s words were making him feel bubbly. Happiness that he couldn’t describe had begun to sprout in him and threatened to swallow him whole.

 

**He wants to give us a shot.**

 

**He wants to be with you.**

**He wants to be _yours_.**

 

Mark leaned in the rest of the way, keeping his eyes locked with Jackson’s. He smiled slightly when he noticed the younger leaning in as well. He stopped himself when he was only a breath away from the others lips.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered the words on Jackson’s lips. It was kind of stupid to ask but apparently he wanted to be extra sappy today.

Jackson didn’t give it a second thought before he leaned in and filled the gap. The younger's lips were soft, and hot and perfect. There kiss was needy and desperate and Jackson’s right hands cradling his face was the only thing keeping him grounded right now.

Mark vaguely sensed his surroundings fading way as he pressed closer to Jackson, his hands resting on the others chest. And maybe it wasn’t healthy to let the younger have such an effect on him. But as Jackson tilted his head to deepen the kiss, he found himself not caring in the least.

 

 _“I want to be yours too”_. Jackson's words echoed in his head. 

 _But you already are_ , Mark thought in return.

 

 _“I belong to you, but you don’t belong to me."_ Mark's words swam around in his mind. 

 _But, I do_ , Jackson thought back.

* * *

 

  **A few hours later**

 

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise appearance by BTS members! (dont even ask about how much I stan this group)
> 
> [was it worth the 2 hours it took to make that group chat look like an actual group chat? meh. but was it fun? yes]
> 
> I really had no idea how to end the story, which is in part why it took so long for me to write the last chapter. So I decided to leave it kind of open ended. I cant summarize in a few words how these two's future will be b/c with the situation they are in, I dont think there relation would be a smooth sailing one. But who is ever that lucky to experience that?
> 
> So if the inspiration comes, I would love to explore this relationship and continue the story. But for now, lets leave Markson on a good note. 
> 
> Thank to all who have read the story, left kudos and comments! I appreciate all of it!
> 
> Would love to know what you thought in general about the story and how you would imagine the story to continue!


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